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Season 3
September 19, 2005

Season 3

01. Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts

After falling off the roof, Alan needs Charlie's help in looking after Jake, which interferes with Charlie's social life.

September 19, 2005

02. Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

Jake gets suspended from school after drawing an offensive picture of a girl in his class that has large breasts. Meanwhile, Charlie is asked to watch over Alan's chiropractic office after pulling an all-nighter.

September 26, 2005

03. Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

Alan has been dating a lot, and Charlie soon finds out that it has been one woman - his ex-wife, Judith. He tries to stop Alan, and even brings Rose, Evelyn and Berta to interfere - but Alan ignores them all.

October 3, 2005

04. Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs

Berta causes tension between Charlie and Alan, when she temporarily moves in with them

October 10, 2005

05. We Called It Mr. Pinky

Charlie learns he can't be in a long-lasting relationship, becuase of unresolved issues he has with his mother. Jake asks Charlie for advice about a girl at school.

October 17, 2005

06. Hi, Mr. Horned One

Ignoring Alan's warnings, Charlie continues to date Isabella until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.

October 24, 2005

07. Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

Charlie wakes up with Rose the morning after her birthday party. Her irate father comes to ask Charlie about what the future holds for him and Rose, but the unexpected happens when Evelyn shows up.

November 7, 2005

08. That Voodoo That I Do Do

Charlie tricks Jake into taking ballet lessons, so he can get close to the teacher.

November 14, 2005

09. Madame and Her Special Friend

One of Charlie's elderly neighbors tries to seduce Alan, while Charlie tries to stop Jake from giving money to a televangelist.

November 21, 2005

10. Something Salted and Twisted

Charlie helps Alan with his obsession of always having to get approval from the women in his life.

November 28, 2005

11. Santa's Village of the Damned

Alan starts dating a woman with a Martha Stewart complex. Before long she's running the house with an obsession for perfection.

December 19, 2005

12. That Special Tug

Charlie sees a therapist to learn how to deal with Alan's emotional insecurities.

January 9, 2006

13. Humiliation Is a Visual Medium

Charlie finds himself in a relationship that is not based on sex.

January 23, 2006

14. Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded

Charlie arranges a romantic date with Mia in the hopes of consummating their relationship. Alan begins to date Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.

February 6, 2006

15. My Tongue is Meat

Charlie has trouble keeping up with Mia's healthy lifestyle, so he begins to sneak beers, cigars, and burgers behind her back. When Mia finds out what he was doing, Charlie has to decide if he is truly in love with her or just whipped.

February 27, 2006

16. Ergo, the Booty Call

Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie.

March 6, 2006

17. The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer

Charlie is nominated for an advertising award, but he decides to boycott it because his arch nemesis always wins. The rest of his family tries to trick him into going. Rose is having relationship problems with Gordon and seeks help from Charlie.

March 13, 2006

18. The Spit-Covered Cobbler

Alan starts to have financial problems when he starts paying for his girlfriend's bills, so Charlie tries to get him to break up with her. Meanwhile, Judith is after Alan because he is late in paying his alimony check.

March 20, 2006

19. Golly Moses, She's a Muffin

Charlie is surprised to find out that Kandi has been living with them for the last three weeks. Alan is having a tough time helping Kandi earn a living. Charlie has lost his sense because of the dry-spell he is going through.

April 10, 2006

20. Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

Alan tries to win Kandi back. Meanwhile, Charlie starts to sleep with her mom, Mandi, and Judith gets set up with her father, Andy.

April 24, 2006

21. And the Plot Moistens

Jake’s teacher has a meeting with Alan and Judith to discuss the lack of interest Jake has at school. Alan starts to fall for Francine, in a platonic way, because he is tired of the lack of intelligent communication he has with Kandi. Charlie helps Jake audition for his school musical.

May 1, 2006

22. Just Once with Aunt Sophie

A girl from Jake’s school invites him to his first boy-girl party. Charlie and Alan help him get ready for it by giving him advice. Alan and Charlie get nostalgic and remember their first boy-girl party.

May 8, 2006

23. Arguments for the Quickie

Mia comes back to town with her dance troupe and invites Charlie to her performance. At first, he decides not to go and tries to convince Alan that he no longer has feelings for her. He goes to the see the performance and Mia explains that she wants some of Charlie’s sperm. Charlie responds by asking Mia for something.

May 15, 2006

24. That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

Charlie and Mia start making their wedding arrangements. Things begin to fall apart when their two families meet each other. They eventually decide on a small ceremony in Las Vegas.

May 22, 2006